Is it really? In many situations it probably is. For example, if the waiter spits in your food and you still eat it because you didn’t know, than you are going to be ok. But what if you later do find out. The food incident you will probably survive (and wish you had never known) but it could be something more serious.
I was recently put in a situation where I was told something about someone, hence put in the dilemma of whether to tell the person affected. Ok yeah, so we are talking about relationships here. I know this information being kept a secret means my friend lives in bliss, and I know this coming out means my friend will be hurt. A lot. So if I keep quiet all will stay the same. Happy ever after.
What about the day when my friend perhaps does find out, and worse, finds out that I knew all along. Surely that will be more hurtful than anything? Surely it is my obligation as a good friend to ensure my friend knows what is going on and not keep any secrets, no matter how long ago this happened and whether true or false. Because it isn’t up to me to decide whether it is true or not… right? Well perhaps, but there are a lot of shades of gray. Oh I wanna read that book by the way, I hear it is good!
My problem is that I have a very strong feeling towards infidelity. It makes me so mad. I don’t get how so many can disrespect their loved one like that. The thought of my husband being unfaithful, or even considering it, makes me nervous. Ok so I am a little traumatized here. A boy once treated me like shit and not only did he screw around with random people, he also chose my friend. And then laughed in my face.
The dilemma I mentioned earlier is not quite about infidelity, but there has supposedly been a proposition. And to me that is almost the same thing. And if it didn’t happen then it is equally bad because that means the friend who told me is a liar and looking to ruin something good.
I wasn’t actually going to tell, the friend who told me was going to do it so I was happy with that. But alcohol isn’t always my best friend so one night it came out like a barf after bad seafood. Naturally I became the evil one in the story. And I can kinda understand.
I am working on being more relaxed, and not taking things so seriously. I have my way of thinking and I don’t think I am wrong in how I feel, but sometimes it seems to affect me more than those actually affected. I wish I didn’t care so much about what other people do, and think for that matter.
To me ignorance would have been bliss. I wish I was never told (and trust me, so does the friend who told me). But I was. And if there is one thing I am terrible at, it is lying. And I hate fake people and definitely don’t want to be a false person myself. So knowing without telling would have meant staying away. And that was just too hard.