The Hard Life of a Woman

I’m not going to spend the next couple of minutes moaning about how hard it is to be a woman and how I feel suppressed in this ugly world run by men. I quite like men, and considering my current laziness, they can run it all they want. But running the world or not, being a woman in today’s day and age is, oh, so hard…

The other day I went for my regular wax. That means I dress up in something lose, preferably a skirt and no undies but that is risky, so usually a skirt with undies. After a ten minute walk, trying to be as discreet as possible to avoid anyone seeing my hairy legs, I get to the waxing place which I still don’t know the name of, at Shopping Eldorado. Finally I am at a place where being hairy is accepted, but I can never help myself but to excuse my hairiness to the poor lady who is about to begin her work.

When I came to São Paulo and went for my first wax here I was sure to make a note on the little card of the persons name, so that next time I could book an appointment with the same person. Unfortunately I never remember to book, so I have now been there three times and seen three different ladies. That means there are three people other than my husband in São Paulo who have seen a lot more of me than I was hoping for.

I was having coffee with a new found friend, a fellow Swede, here in São Paulo last week and told her for whatever good reason that I wax. She looked at me with big blue scared eyes and asked “do you have to stand on all four?” I knew exactly what she meant. Because that is the kind of thing many women do to please the world around us. We stand on all four whilst another lady, who chose this profession may I add, puts steaming hot wax around your privates. When I was first asked to stand on all fours I thought, “how odd”.

Then I thought “oh shit”.

Thankfully the place I go to here don’t have the “all four” tactic, so I feel slightly less exposed. But still there is always a kind of anxiousness coming over me when I lie there on my back with the skirt pulled up to my neck. I imagine all sorts of embarrassing things that could happen in that room. What if, when you lie there with wax in your bum, you accidentally fart. Will it make an embarrassing sound, or maybe just a little bubble, like a chewing gum?

When they are done with the torturing I get dressed quickly and leave. And if the walk there was awkward trying to hide those hairy legs, the walk back is equally awkward as those undies always seem to get stuck in a piece of wax that was conveniently forgotten at the worse place imaginable.

Oh, and just as you think you are done, the little torturer asks whether she should take the toes too…. Oh gee, thanks, so I have hairy toes now too?! Oh well fine, get on with it…

Love, CJ


About CJ - Loving São Paulo

A Swede in Brazil. Whatever comes to mind; thoughts, inspiration, food ideas, baby stuff, life.. I will write about it when I have free time! Uma Sueca no Brasil. Seja o que for; pensamentos, inspiração, novas receitas, coisas de bebes, a vida... Se há tempo livre escrevo aqui!
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11 Responses to The Hard Life of a Woman

  1. I have to say I have had the best waxes done here in Saqurema, fast and good. Its R$15 for full legs and bikini bet that beats Sao Paulo prices? I know in Rio the same cost me R$65.00 and hurt! Thank god no one has ever asked me to go on all fours,lol,if I’m on all fours it’s not for a bloody wax!

    • LOL
      Yeah, it is defo cheaper than here. I think last time I paid about R$120 for a full bikini and full legs. Daaamn, that’s a big difference! And this place not fancy at all, quite the opposite actually…

  2. andrewdownie says:

    If it’s uncomfortable, then go au naturel. You set the rules. Don’t let the cosmetic companies or Brazilian hygiene freaks set them for you.

  3. Linda says:

    Men alltså, inte hade jag fattat att man vaxade allt!! Shit! Vad är det för fel på rakhyvel..?
    Vad kostar vaxningen? Förmodar att det är en typisk grej som är nästan gratis i Brazil men snordyrt i Svea!

    • Rakhyvel, massa fel. Sticks ju efter en dag!! hehe
      Har ar allt utom just skonhets grejer dyrt, sa man har liksom ingen ursakt att inte va fin a frasch!! A brassarna ar grymt fafanga, ska liksom alltid va perfekta. Jobbigt nar man gar runt i sina flipflops a halvskitiga vita shorts efter en lang dag full av sightseeing i 30 graders varme. Man kanner sej allt utom fin. Jag projsar ca 400 kr for att vaxa hela benen och (hela) bikinin. Tror inte det ar sa mycket dyrare i Sverige faktiskt vad jag har hort!! 🙂

  4. Haha hilarious and so true! Like with most things in brazil, I find it take 5 times longer too than back in the UK. You would think the beauticians would want to keep face to bottom time to a minimum 😉

    • Hahah yeah!! But I have to say, they are a lot quicker where I go here than any place I have been to before. They put wax on the whole leg all at once then pull it all off at once. Maybe they did it that way in the UK too though… but not in Portugal at least! 🙂

  5. anbrooks2013 says:

    I have never waxed before, but it sounds intimidating.

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